i’m 18 i can go to strip clubs and buy cigarettes and buy m rated games without my mom hell yeah
You used to go to strip clubs with your mom?
just saw a post accusing Obama of working for the government
What how dare he
my room isn’t messy it’s grunge
"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression
wHEN PEOPLE ASK YOU WHAT YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION IS AND THEN JUDGE ME WHEN I SAY IT’S MY MACBOOK WOW SORRY DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY A LOCKET MY GREAT AUNT ALICE’S GRANDFATHER’S SON HANDCRAFTED FROM KING ARTHUR’S SWORD WELDED WITH PHOENIX TEARS AND THE BLOOD OF A WOOD NYMPH NO OKAY I FUCKING LOVE MY MACBOOK NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH HOW I CAN SCROLL WITH TWO FUCKING FINGERS OKAY THAT”S BETTER THAN ANY LOCKET
# no-one promotes confident body image like rebel wilson # favourite quote of the whole movie
Hi, I’m Chris Pratt. I’ve been challenged by Bob Iger and Vincent D’Onofrio to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Gentlemen, I accept your challenge. Uh, now, that’s twice I’ve been challenged, so I’m gonna do it slightly different. Instead of doing one bucket of ice, what I’m going to do… I found this, it’s called Blue Ice Vodka and in lieu of the bucket of ice, I’ll be drinking this. (x)
there is not one search term here that isn’t magical
i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me
did a ghost do my taxes. i’m scared of eating ribbons.
This may be the most hilarious list ever.
"am I old enough to walk"